
The winter came early, the year Ioann left home. Before that day, he had always imagined his home, when he tried to fit the broad valley into his mind, as a sunny place. Warm and comforting, with gray-green tuffs of grass and a quilt of farmland stretching out to link one high rocky rise with its mirror cousin. A place where the sun shines and the wind blows, and the grain sways with the breeze like golden fabric. Ever after, however, his could only picture his home like it was the last time he looked.
Blue sky, clear and cloudless and washed out with the morning light that broke over the mountains, with the bite of chill that heralded the turn in the seasons as the empty fields below the roadway shimmered with a dusting of frost. It was as if magic had settled over the land during the night, and was waiting to be swept up in preparation for a new day. A fine layer of ice hung to the short, stunted trees of Breliven, as they in turn clung to their rocky surfaces. Each leaf sparkled in the sunlight, looking, for a brief flash, like spun sugar or delicate glass.
The boy looked out over the cradle of his youth, and made a memory, deep in his mind. A treasure, hidden away where he might come to play and fiddle with, turning it over and over and over till he knows every edge and surface. A stash, a private thing, that no one else need ever see, or find, caught in the space behind his eyes and between his ears. More importantly, a keep-sake, a parting gift, a comforting reminder of the place he loves so much, and everything inside it, to keep his soul warm till he comes home again.
The road before him looked so desolate in comparison. Even the untrained eye can mark the border between Loradon and Breliven, with no need for something as petty as a wall or a line, or even guards for that matter. On one side the road snaked up the mountain side, grass pressing through the gravel and pouring in over the sides. Not so much a road as a narrow pass, two men could walk side by side, or a man and horse, but anything as great as a wagon would be hard pressed to keep all four wheels on solid ground.
The grass was greener, on the Breliven side. The dirt was softer, darker, with more vegetable matter than the dust of rocks. The air was fresher, tasting of fallen leaves and churned soil, with that sigh of air that comes from the breeze blowing over the valley. The sunlight danced over the rock outcroppings and the mountain ridges to paint the gravel momentarily golden. And the frost clung to the underside of every work, sparkling and bright, even in the shadows.
Perhaps, maybe, just maybe, there was no real difference on the other side of the road, as the path linked the two domains without any pretension of grandeur. But no one who walked along this road, as few travelers as there ever were, could remain oblivious to the moment that they first breath in Breliven air or set foot on Breliven soil. This little slice of the world was different, in every way that really mattered, and every person, and animal, and plant, could feel that difference down to the very core of their inner most being.
Ioann had never gone farther than this edge, in all eleven years of his life. Never crossed over before, for more than a few minutes, and never wanted to. This was the only road, only official road, to come in or out of the secluded valley, not that every visitor needed a road. Every child of Breliven, eventually, makes his or her way to the road and the border. Maybe, the braver and more venturesome might sneak out to visit this strange place as an act of daring or curiosity. The more timid are brought by their parents or their friends, so they might, for a few moments, envision a larger world, and everything that entails.
Every winter, Ioann would come with his parents and grandparents and great grand parents, all his uncles and cousins and aunts. A great swarm of family, up to the road, in a rite and reminder of the cost and privilege of being on this side of the line. There is a slight down beat, to the rhythm of life, when he steped over that invisible boundary. It hits the stomach like a dead weight, sinking down half an inch, as if the entire world has gotten just that much harder to bear.
They give him a few moments, to stare out over the valley, for the last time in a very long time. Ioann had never gone more than a handful of steps beyond the border, and soon he will be several domains over, with no chance to return for several years. He desperately needed that look to say good bye, though he could hardly articulate the feeling. In some ways, the future distance doesn’t matter. An inch or a mile, the burden will be the same, until that day he returns home.
So he savored the view, the way the light reflected, blinking in the sun. The image of home now burning into his mind holds those white dusted fields and the ice edged gray-green grass and rocks that sparkled in the shadows where the heat of the day hd not yet reached to melt the fragile ice crystals. The wind was stronger, that high up on the mountain road, than the breezes that make the grass sway below. Cold. It was pleasant, on the other side, but on this side the boy crossed his arms about himself and shuddered.
He knew, knew in a deep and dark place that he didn’t want to peer too closely at, that once he turned away, he would be gone and there would be no going back. The outside would was going to change him, as worlds always do. Here, in the heartland of his life, everything is controlled and clear and laid out before him. The boy has only to walk the path laid out before him, and it will take him to everything he ever thought he wanted. And now the road has lead him here, and he doesn’t want to go.
He doesn’t want to turn, to put his back to his home, to walk away. Even for an Hour. Even for a day. A year. A lifetime… no, never a life time. The only strength that can fuel the furnace of Ioann’s resolve is the dedication that this will not be, can never be, good bye forever. The youth would come back, return a man, with a man’s responsibility. A full wizard, resplendent in green cloth. He would return, to walk proudly back along this road. And damnation to anyone who seeks to stop him.
This is home, his only home, the only one he has ever known. And they’re sending him away. And he’s going, how can he be going? How much easier would it be to stay, to run away from his cousin and his aunt, to hide among the grass and the rocks and…. And what? Wait for winter? There is no place to go, no place to hide. And even if he could flee into the distance, how could he hide from the guilt within of intentionally removing himself from his community. Family is everything to him. So is home.
He doesn’t want to leave, to head into winter, for the Ladoran winter is far colder than it’s nearby valley ally. It will be exposed out there, in that wide open world, and everyone will be watching.
Maybe he would have stood there forever, as the winder fell around him and the stars passed over head, rotating day to night and back around again in an endless spiral that counts not the value of a single human life. But his travel companions have different ideas, and it is still several miles till they reach the portal way that would send them skyward towards the Court. They each remember that first feeling, the profundity of it all, and the many trips home do nothing more than increase the sense of anticipation of leaving once more. It is easy to yearn, with the fullness of one’s eternal being, for each trip to be the last, and each return to be the final coming home.
This is a piece of their exile as well. But one can not be D’Breliven and not know one’s duty, and the importance of doing it. They all must leave, so that they may return. Go, so that no one else would have to. This honor, this burden, is not punishment, but rather a sign that one is considered qualified enough to represent the valley to the rest of the domains. To stand before the highest wizards of the land and be counted a fair representation of the land of Breliven. To study. To learn. To politic. To plot. To make alliance. To make friends. Perhaps even, to make enemies.
So they wait. But they do not wait for very long. And it seems all too soon that Lidiya approached him, to place a hand firmly on Ioann’s shoulder. She could feel, beneath his fingers, his soul and shoulders sloop, as a breath slipped out in something as heavy as a sigh. She did not have to say a word, for between them was that connection, the fine line and network that connects each and every one of the members of Ioann’s family with a binding akin to that which wraps the border in its comforting and calming aura.
He is not alone.
And so they turned their backs as one, and left onto winter, the gravel crunching as rock and ice grind together with every firm footfall down the road that leads from home.